Parting
by sweetcolumbine
Summary: The end of that long ago summer and down from the mountain.


**Parting.**

_(The characters belong to Annie Proulx and BBM)._

Jack shifted up the gears in the old truck - wondered again if the truck would actually make the journey all the way up to Lightnin' Flat. As he drove the shock of their recent parting made concentration hard: his heart felt frozen, _he _felt frozen and so alone.

They didn't see eye to eye on some things sometimes, he knew that. Ennis was like a lost child trapped in himself. But Jack had thought things had been goin' o.k. with him and Ennis - after all the lovin' an ' such…..

Al'a's thought they'd continue.

Knew about Alma a course.

Thought somehow Ennis would still be his.

Jack had wanted to wrestle with him up on Brokeback that last afternoon after Aguirie had told them to bring the sheep down – the cowboy had looked so sad and Jack just wanted to take his mind off things, maybe make love again. It all ended in a fight and Ennis had punched him hard – he fingered the bruise on his face which still hurt like hell.

The final parting had been a shock and the end of the half hoped dreams of him and Ennis maybe helping up at his daddy's place, living there. A quick cutting off of the dreams, the magic. Jack grieved, missed Ennis, felt lost. All had come to nothin' after all.

When they parted at Signal a cold wind had arisen sending the dust high above the road, and it gusted across the wide lonely landscape tormenting the grass into uneasy swathes.

It had been time to part but Jack couldn't accept it in his heart and mind – surely at the last minute Ennis would be his again.

Ennis practical as ever helped him start the truck bending low under the hood as Jack revved the engine. That done Jack had jumped out of the truck and leant against the side of it – time hung in the balance, here was the crossroads, the decision time.

Ennis looked in vain for his shirt in the small bag he carried. Jack had kept it with his shirt, both stained with their blood from the fight, wrapped them together as a keepsake and hidden them in his bag.

'Do this agin next summer?', there he'd said it. His heart ached.

'Probably not….. Alma an me gettin' married in November – gotta get somethin' on a ranch. You?'

'Goin' up ta ma daddy's place, help him thru the winter….that's if the army don't get me.'

Ennis had paused and looked at him. It was only a long time later Jack wondered if Ennis had been in two minds, whether at that point he would have changed his mind. Maybe he was waiting for pleas or words of love.

Then, 'See y around then huh?'

'Ok', Jack brought his head down in a nod where it stayed so heavy with sorrow and disbelief. How could Ennis just walk away from him after all they'd had.

Angry suddenly Jack stared at Ennis and then looked him up and down wondering just who this person was who was breaking his heart, he felt he hadn't known him at all. He was actually goin' t leave! He felt used – that must be it: Ennis had just used him.

Jack jumped into the truck and pulled away blinded by tears of grief and anger and almost knocked Ennis over. Yes he'd been used!

At his Ma and Pa's much later, alone in the barn head in hands he gave full vent to his anguish and felt that his life was over.

Ennis kept everything in, watching Jack's truck until it became a speck on the horizon below its white smudge of dust. If he had known the word he would have said he was being nonchalant as he strolled along the road - Jack looking through his mirror had thought him uncaring.

But as he passed an old abandoned barn a wave of sickness overcame him and in the corner there though he retched and retched nothing came up. He saw a shape to his left out of the corner of his eye and with a sudden leap of his heart thought it was Jack returned as the figure was dressed in a similar way - but no it was a passing cowboy who just stared at him. Upset and disappointed now his emotions came out and he shouted the man away.

Later in November Ennis did what was expected of him, what he expected of himself, and married Alma. Although he tried to tell himself he was happy something wasn't right.

In the half light of dawn in the bedroom of Alma's relations, after the first night of their honeymoon Ennis gazed down on the shapely back of his sleeping bride. There came to him then the memory of naked Jack in the grey/blue light of another dawn: Jack facing away from him stretching his arms up in the air yawning, arching his beautiful back – then sighing as Ennis placed a soft butterfly kiss on his soft skin.

The pity of it overwhelmed Ennis and in the early light he wept silently.

Far away in Lightning Flat Jack sat at his bedroom window watching the sky turn to pink and watching the road which led from the ranch to the rest of the world and somewhere to Ennis. A single tear made its way down Jack's face as he pondered on Ennis. He resolved there and then to return to Signal next year and ask Aguirie for work and any news of Ennis. How could he stay here now, how could he remain?

'Ennis!'


End file.
